posted Jan 15, 2010, 7:03 PM by Jeremy Poehnert   [ updated Jan 15, 2010, 7:34 PM ]
My experience with romantic relationships is quite limited.  I've really only dated two people, and I married the second one.

Lisa is the one I didn't marry.  We were friends in college, and if I remember right we knew each other for all four years of college.  We had a very low-key run at dating each other in the last semester of our senior year.  It was fun and an all-around nice experience, but there weren't any romantic sparks.  So when we graduated we just kind of naturally stopped dating and became friends, as we both pursued different directions.

I have so many fun memories of having known Lisa.  I'm not sure the best way to organize them, so I'll start with just a brainstorm:

  • Lisa was the first person I knew who roller bladed, and the most committed.  She started in college and really worked hard to build her skill.  I always respected her for taking it on, and it was exciting to watch her improve.
  • During our last semester, and our brief period dating, we went to the annual formal dance held by our community service group, and it was the most fun I have ever had in a tuxedo, and the most fun I've had at any sort of formal dance/ball.
  • After we graduated I went with Lisa to help her look at apartments and rooms for rent in the city where she was going to attend grad school.  I took a long weekend off from work and took the bus to meet her, and we did a tour of places she might live.  It was simple, and a funny sort of trip, but it was also exciting to be there to see the beginning of her new life.
  • Whenever I think of Physics I think of Lisa.  She was a physics major and went on to pursue physics in grad school.  I think knowing her is one of the reasons that when I think of physicists, I almost always picture them as women!
  • Lisa was very, very quiet.  She just didn't like to talk much.  I was used to people that talked a lot, and this made her very different from most people I knew.
  • Lisa took a few Women's Studies classes, and it was through her that I first read the Yellow Wallpaper.  I also read a few other pieces in her Women's Studies reader.  That was one of my earliest introduction to feminist ideas, and planted seeds for how my ideas about gender issues would develop over time.
  • I think our first "official" date was to see the male acapella group at our college.  It was so much fun, and the ideal first date.  The show was absolutely hilarious.

One of my most special memories of Lisa, though, is playing pool.  There were three of us that had a weekly appointment to play pool in the college game room.  None of us were especially good (or any good), and I didn't care if we followed the rules or not.  I've always loved pool, and for me it was just awesome that we had this fun weekly pool meeting.  If I remember right it was my idea, and Lisa and Tyler (who I'll definitely write about eventually) were willing to go along.

There was something about our chemistry that just clicked for me.  Other people would join us from time to time, but the three of us had a special dynamic that just really worked.

Lisa and Tyler were the core of my college friends, and we had a lot of friends in common, so we did things together a lot.  The three of us were all really different, but we clicked in a way that was really special.

I'm not sure how to summarize everything I took away from my relationship with Lisa.  She was a special friend, an all around wonderful person, and my first girlfriend.  We shared the kind of happy and meaningful college experiences that make me smile to think about.  

Maybe that's all I need to say.